Accio beer!

I walked in the door and the tinsel attacked me. I've been mauled by a silver creeper. And this is on top of having been been trounced by the girls back at school. I'm still finding snow in my ears. I'm self-medicating with my own weight in gingerbread and I think I'm going to pull through, but if I succumb to the glitter, I bequeath my porn stash to Fred. Use it wisely. Use it well. Use it without thinking of me, there's a good man.

If I don't die, caroling like you would not believe on The Eve of the Eve (because getting out on Christmas Eve would involve getting past Grandma Weasley and that's just impossible). I always think "wassailing" sounds like something you should be arrested for, and it is, if you do it right. Once again, if I fall off someone's snowy roof and die, etc etc.

The festive season's bloody dangerous. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Holy norads! Why did no one wake me up for breakfast? Why did no one tell me it was going to be raining porn at breakfast? I have an alarm clock! ...somewhere! I could have woken myself up! Maybe. Not the point. The point is: you Ravenclawsians had better be generous with your bounty, because everyone knows there's only so much porn you can eat before you get fat turn to crime and a life of villainy and no one wants that, right? Best for everyone if you just share it around, like. I have only your welfare in mind!

Also does anyone have a bread roll or something? I'm munting starving.

( APPLICATION )