InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Or let us live forever"

it isn't James Potter's fault, honestly (acciopotter) wrote,
@ 2010-08-26 11:23:00

the adventures of me :: episode 001
Holy norads! Why did no one wake me up for breakfast? Why did no one tell me it was going to be raining porn at breakfast? I have an alarm clock! ...somewhere! I could have woken myself up! Maybe. Not the point. The point is: you Ravenclawsians had better be generous with your bounty, because everyone knows there's only so much porn you can eat before you ~~get fat~~ turn to crime and a life of villainy and no one wants that, right? Best for everyone if you just share it around, like. I have only your welfare in mind!

Also does anyone have a bread roll or something? I'm munting starving.

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	shyster 2010-08-26 01:37 am UTC (link)
	James Potter, Porn Addict? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	acciopotter 2010-08-26 01:43 am UTC (link)
	I can give it up any time I want! And in this case I am selflessly offering to help out my good friends in the other tower. At the very least, where are they going to put it all? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shyster 2010-08-26 01:49 am UTC (link)
	It only takes a simple shrinking charm to put them all away neatly and compactly! I'll keep an eye out for rogue porn magazines for you, though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	acciopotter 2010-08-26 01:57 am UTC (link)
	...are you bringing logic into this? You are an angel amongst mortals, Rhi. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shyster 2010-08-26 01:59 am UTC (link)
	Oops, sorry. I meant the porn will be everywhere, EVERYWHERE! OH NO! You say this now, but when I come up empty handed... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	acciopotter 2010-08-26 02:05 am UTC (link)
	ATTAGIRL. I will cry. Alone. In the rain. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shyster 2010-08-26 02:06 am UTC (link)
	If it's not raining, shall I throw a bucket of water at you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	acciopotter 2010-08-26 02:37 am UTC (link)
	Or I could just wait five minutes for it to rain, this is Scotland, after all, but that would be an epic service to mankind. Or to Jameskind, at least. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shyster 2010-08-26 04:12 pm UTC (link)
	Ha. This is a good point. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	nicorn 2010-08-26 01:53 am UTC (link)
	Very funny. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	acciopotter 2010-08-26 02:04 am UTC (link)
	Do not look the gift-porn in the mouth, Nickery. Or the... other places, maybe. Alternatively, you could have a pretty epic bonfire with all that paper, you know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nicorn 2010-08-26 02:33 am UTC (link)
	Ha, yeah. Or I could just throw it in the fire, and not have to actually have a bonfire. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	acciopotter 2010-08-26 03:38 am UTC (link)
	Not nearly as much fun. Bonfire! Toasting marshmallows! You can dance around it skyclad if you really must. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	queentakesjack 2010-08-26 03:02 am UTC (link)
	Pathetic. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	acciopotter 2010-08-26 03:50 am UTC (link)
	If you really want to see pathetic, I could beg like a puppy. So hungry, Lady D! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	queentakesjack 2010-08-26 05:03 am UTC (link)
	I can picture that. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	mischiefs 2010-08-26 04:19 am UTC (link)
	Somehow, I new you'd be the one to derive genuine pleasure from this without even having seen one. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	acciopotter 2010-08-26 04:48 am UTC (link)
	Thanks for reminding me that I'm devastated about not having seen it. An endless wave of porn-bearing owls! I bet it was epic. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mischiefs 2010-08-26 05:02 am UTC (link)
	You could just subscribe to your own porn magazines. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	acciopotter 2010-08-26 05:18 am UTC (link)
	Meh. Not to mention that part of the charm is the unexpectedness of the event. If I ordered them, it'd hardly be unexpected, would it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mischiefs 2010-08-26 05:20 am UTC (link)
	It's only seven months until your birthday. I'll get you thirty porn magazine subscriptions if you explain that to Aunt Ginny and Uncle Harry. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	acciopotter 2010-08-26 06:15 am UTC (link)
	I take it "That Fred! Who knows why he does these crazy things?" would not be considered an acceptable explanation? I thought you were getting me a Harpies' Chaser leaping out of the cake for my birthday, anyway. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mischiefs 2010-08-26 06:26 am UTC (link)
	Not if you want to live to see your next birthday. And you're getting that for Christmas, if by Harpies' Chaser you mean "no bloody way". (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	acciopotter 2010-08-26 06:32 am UTC (link)
	What about a Professor, can I have a Professor leaping out of my cake? Whatever, seventeen's a good age to die, before I start getting rheumatism. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mischiefs 2010-08-26 06:36 am UTC (link)
	You need to hide that giant fancy you have for Professor Briggs just a bit better than that. You'll make your girlfriend jealous. I didn't know rheumatism set in at eighteen. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	acciopotter 2010-08-26 06:49 am UTC (link)
	Not at all, she's very understand. And what can I say? I like a woman who can lay down the law. OH BABY. And arthritis once you hit your twenties. IT'S ALL TRUE. Life is nothing but pain and darkness after twenty-five. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mischiefs 2010-08-26 07:00 am UTC (link)
	Can we please keep your sexual proclivities out of this conversation? I hear the memory starts going at twenty-two and by twenty-five the involuntary bowel movements set in. It'll be terrible. Get out while you can. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	acciopotter 2010-08-26 07:09 am UTC (link)
	I don't know, can we? They just seem to keep popping back up again! It's terrible, Fred. Just terrible. We have to wring as much out of life while we still have fine motor control! (You know what this means, don't you?) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	kapoosh 2010-08-26 01:03 pm UTC (link)
	Hahaha, mate. There was so much, it was borderline disturbing. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	acciopotter 2010-08-26 10:12 pm UTC (link)
	I feel the important line in this sentence is borderline. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	sadiestically 2010-08-26 01:04 pm UTC (link)
	Check the third years. They always have food. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	acciopotter 2010-08-26 10:13 pm UTC (link)
	But they're scary. Can't you get it for me, Sades? You're so big and strong. (Reply to this) (Parent)